One day, a man and his wife are debating over whether they should welcome a feline companion into their home, a tale as old as time. The story of another couple starts exactly as the other does, but the car begins to veer off the road side in a violent turn, into uncharted territory. Ever since the internet got hooked by VR, Crypto currency, and other invasive pests of technology they’re pushing, nothing has been sacred, not even our pets. Created by Elephant Robotics, the A.I. powered MetaCat is designed after the Ragdoll, a docile breed that loves attention and the presence of people. For $124.99, you could get a cat that has all of the qualities of a cat you’d want, and none of the litter boxes. Promising, right? Hold your horses, this isn’t all that it seems. Here’s three reason why you should keep your wallet closed for this one. 

Ok, this one may seem pretty obvious to most: it’s really bad. The limits of technology can only go so far, and shockingly, we’re still not getting the cuddly robot pet companion from your favorite Sunday cartoon. This robot cat doesn’t move independently, in fact, doesn’t move much at all. It can wag its tail, make mechanic meows, purring, the whole works. Now, it does come with some benefits. Believe it or not, it’s not that freaky toy your kid sees on TV. There’s no litter box, no nails, and no heartbreak in your far future. However, the “A.I. powered robotic MetaCat” fails to simulate enough of the experience of having a soft companion that a real cat could. There’s only so much you can do with an emotionless drone of the Zuckerberg empire until it’s rotting in your closet or being shipped back to Amazon.

Here’s a novel idea that I’m sure that some of your were already thinking: just get a cat. If you can afford a massive one time purchase of $125 dollars, then simply get a real cat. You could probably afford it. Much of the reason to get a cat is the emotional bond and the time you spend caring for your fluffy friend’s life. If you are a good owner, then your cat will warm up to you, creating a more authentic and loving experience than a metal shell imitating the behavior. The best part about getting a real cat is the opportunity of adopting. If you adopt, you’re improving or even saving the life of your new best friend. I assure you, there’s better things out there. 

So, have I convinced you yet? Surely there’s a line that the great corporate overlords can’t cross, into our family systems.  Here’s a few final disclosures to seal the deal here. It’s not cute. In fact, as noted by Chris Matyzczyk, one person in a zoom call with the unfortunate victims of this cruel experiment called the creature  “demonic”.

The creature’s interaction features are limited to petting almost exclusively and the best part? You still have to feed it. Presumably, the faux food comes with the beasts, but the fact that the most important part of owning your cat is replicated in the lazy-no-goods alternative is really quite bizarre. There’s really only one plus, and that is the potential that your cat-allergic child will be able to “play” with it. Even this plus shouldn’t sweeten the deal, it’s really just not worth it. Just get a darn cat.